03 September 2010


Almost a year ago, my ex boyfriend made the top 5 of memorable phrases when he had the spark to tell me: “I love you, but I’m not in love with you….and I want to be in love always with my partner”
I knew immediately he was doing me a favor, as he clearly had no clue what it means to love a partner. This diluted society where I’m living now, is so manipulated by media, that the idea of love that is sold is the same you watch in movies, magazines and TV. Love is an ethereal feeling, where commitment is just way too serious. This sterile idea doesn’t include or considers the happiness of the other, and to think about making concessions in order to complement each other is just a big demand! Too complicated. Forget it, I want the HOLLYWOOD LOVE!
Is it a surprise that in US 50% of marriages end up in divorce? It shouldn’t. Girls think that love is meant to be like all the fairy tales Disney imprints in your mind since you are a child. Boys, think that a partner is a modern idea of a sex goddess, party partner and devoted cook. Since it is too complicated to find somebody that will fit exactly the profile….well it is just better to split and engage into a new lie months after.
True I don’t deserve such a complete looser. But I was not waiting Mr. Perfect either. Not long ago, I tried once more, with similar or worst results, only this time I was saved in time and in the most hilarious way. Soon after that last incident, I had a great time of revelation, understanding and above all LOVE. The perfect Love hugged me and showed me that there is a big difference in just “being in love” and committing yourself to love somebody.
Just like the pink story of always, I felt in love years ago with Christ. It was a delightful time, but like always, that time came to an end, and my options were: do your minimum effort or commit and give it all for that love. I chose the first one! Was it by default? Probably.
Now I’m starting to understand what it means to say really YES, to commit with the perfect LOVE. And how demanding it is! I’m not worthy of Him, but day-by-day, He fills my heart with so much, that I can’t help but Love back, and thank every minute His infinite misery with me.
This is what the forgotten ones were supposed to do. The last one even told me: I don’t deserve you! Of course he didn’t deserve me! And probably I didn’t deserve him, but unlike him I was willing to change that, to help him, to commit, to hold his hand and learn together how to deserve each other every day.
I’ve seen more than 4 reasons, through different marriages, why I’m glad I was kept from stepping into disaster with any past boyfriend. A family can’t be just an individual, you need a commitment between two, willing to give to each other every day, share, understand, comprehend and grow together.
I might be alone in the material world. Actually I’m always with my Love! He finds the most wonderful ways to make me feel loved and to show me in every little thing, how I can love with His love, to my family, friends and anybody that runs into my life. I’m embracing life in a different way. This time I’m fill of peace and glad to be able to smile back at Him.