around the corner

Never expect too much they say. Didn't with this last weekend...
In the end it's important that someone really considers you are special...and even more, it's important to feel that you are special for this person. No lies and taking up the risk to just feel. All this usually comes exactly when u least expect it...and from the person u never tought it could be.

Funny how, most of times we take the wrong decission...just to realice that we should have turned left and no right time after. A pretty face can light up your day...but a smile, a look and true words can mean more and have more sense in this life. I can hardly remember when it was the last time I felt so confortable just being myself...and plus feeling pretty.

I got new shoes too...hahahha well summer shoes. The cute note...Norbou came with me and helped me decide. The things as they should have been....

We tried to recover our color in the sun, so we went to Cospudener see ....what a blef! so much fake sun...we were there for about 3 hours and NOTHING! hehehhe I have to record this day as the day I searched sun and 'cos I didn't have a swimming suit, underware had to make it.

SWING!!!! hasta prontito Chikito!

I want to fall in love ....

In open fields of wild flowers,
she breathes the air and flies away
She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the roses
in no simple language
Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all
He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on her lips
Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call her and she will come running
and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and she'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

Sitting silent wearing Sunday best
The sermon echoes through the walls
A great salvation through it calls to the people
who stare into nowhere, and can't feel the chains on their souls

He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on our lips
Someday we'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call us and we will come running
and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and we'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

It seems too easy to call you "Savior",
Not close enough to call you "God"
So as I sit and think of words I can mention
to show my devotion

"I want to fall in love with You"

"my heart beats for You"
Jars of Clay / Song for a Savior

Hombres Necios

Para vos Sarita...para vos MUJER!

Hombres necios que acusáis a la mujer sin razón sin ver que sois la ocasión de lo mismo que culpáis:

si con ansia sin igual solicitáis su desdén, ¿porque queréis que obren bien
si las incitáis al mal?

Combatís su resistencia y luego, con gravedad, decís que fue liviandad lo que hizo la diligencia.

Parecer quiere el denuedo de vuestro parecer loco, al niño que pone el coco y luego le tiene miedo.

Queréis, con presunción necia, hallar a loa que buscáis, para pretendida, Thais, y en la posesión, Lucrecia.

¿Que humor puede ser más raro que el que, falto de consejo, el mismo empaña el espejo, y siente que no esté claro?

Con el favor y el desdén tenéis condición igual quejandoos, si os tratan mal, burlandoos, si os quieren bien.

Opinión, ninguna gana; pues la que más se rescata, si no os admite, es ingrata, y si os admite, es liviana.

Siempre tan necios andáis que, con desigual nivel, a una culpáis por cruel y a otra por fácil culpáis.

¿Pues como ha de estar templada la que vuestro amor pretende, si la que es ingrata, ofende, y la que es fácil, enfada?

Mas, entre el enfado y pena que vuestro gusto refiere, bien haya la que no os quiere y quejáos en hora buena.

Dan vuestra amantes penas a sus libertades alas, y después de hacerlas malas las queréis hallar muy buenas.

¿Cuál mayor culpa ha tenido en una pasión errada: la que cae de rogada o el que ruega de caído?

¿O cuál es más de culpar, aunque cualquiera mal haga: la que peca por la paga, o el que paga por pecar?

Pues, ¿para qué os espantáis de la culpa que tenéis? Queredlas cual las hacéis o hacedlas cual las buscáis.

Dejad de solicitar, y después, con más razón, acusaréis la afición de la que os fuere a rogar.

Bien con muchas armas fundo que lidia vuestra arrogancia, pues en promesa e instancia juntáis diablo, carne y mundo.

Sor Juana Ines de la Cruz

My catch net…

Everybody goes around, searching something that’s for sure.

You wouldn’t risk lending money to a poor person.

You would not hang out with the ugly man.

You certainly wouldn’t catch the last train home.

And most of people in the world don’t risk falling in love, just ‘cos there is no certainty if you’ll get love back or will you just get hurt.

For many things we search for a security or a catching net… the truth is that there is no such a thing like that. Friends could help us hearing and sometimes even catching our tears. Today a dark side of me has died, and I’ve finally started to live the Eastern of my life. Today I found again my catch net…He never left me. He was there, by my side the whole time… ready to catch me if I fall. I’m ready to risk again, but this time, under HIS protection.

(11am...had a blast of telefon conversation last night 'till 2:25am...Yo Kujio...we need to re talk jejej).

No Salsa GEN

No se si fue borrado, o jamas lo tuve...
esta musica no me pasa ni la paso.
Solo cuando baile con Hardy la encontre divertida.
Pero no puede haber mejor tortura que llevarme a un lugar donde los
gueros bailan acrobaticamente...pero sin sentir siquiera la musica. Muchos show para algo tan dulce.

Lo mio queda en lo trival...lo basico, lo melodico, lo alternativo...lo clasico (rock).

I've tried to find out, why was I so decided to find you.
I have planed so carefully this one.
But again You showed me, it's not a good plan unless you aprove it.
Now I'm standing. Your hand has hold me tight to stand up.
I'm trying to patiently wait your voice, your images.
Show me what is it that you want.
I could risk again, I have no problem to feel again...but let me risk only for what you want.
Take me in your loving arms, and let me sleep a sweet good night.

Let it Rock!

Summer is around the corner... and I'm tempted by so many opportunities: TORI AMOS IS GOING TO BE IN BERLIN the 17th of June!!! This time I really can't say no...I've got to see this incredible woman LIVE!. The funny thing is that a week before Aerosmith is around the corner too. Difficult is to decide to go or not to go to Rock im Park the 1st of June...My Chemical Romance, 30 seconds to Mars, Evanescence, Dave Mathews Band, Muse, Smashing Pumpkings...so many just in once. I'll have to adquire some debts if I want to go to all these concerts. And not only these ones..but in September finally I could see The Rolling Stones...that would be AWSOME!!!

So from 29th April the race to save money from the scholarship begings....I guess the 2nd tour to Dublin will have to wait a while. So this weekend we'll start to save by eating only air and some bees :). The week ends with a good time in class and a big smile. Indeed Murph a smile is already a big change. Small steps for this baby...one day we will learn to walk. Chaucito!

Hoy no quiero!

Last night had a really wonderful talk with my Tandem Tom. After all those months between spanish/deutsch and sometimes english...now I´m proud that Tom is the first German that let me see inside his life with out restrictions and let me share my life in the most natural way. We had an expectaluar half price cake with a 1 euro cafe! jajajja and I got the best advice for this week. Gracias Tom y me dara mucho gusto volverte a ver 1 vez mas.

De manera que por un tiempo y por seguridad emocional, vuelvo a mi lenguaje materno. Hubo por ahi un baboso que andubo sacando tajada de mis posts en ingles. Pues MINGA! se te acabo la mecha mi chavo.

Anoche volviendo, so prexto de la visa de la chica de Daniel...nos pegamos una buena mona con Gi y Daniel. El efecto de un rico Chardonay me dejo luego durmiendo como bebe. Termine de sacar mis trapitos respecto al fulano sin pelos...y creo que no hay nada mejor para cerrar 1 capitulo que unos brindis. VIVA LA VIDA! Salud por el futuro litoral Boliviano jajajajja.

El bebe me llamo y estuvimos charlando para variar un buen rato...si la vida fuera tan facil como juntarse con alguien con quien puedes charlar, me canso ganso.

Y para el que me dice Baby...

"Baby, baby, baby...light my way. I remember. When we could sleep on stones. Now we lie together in whispers and moans. When I was all messed up and I had opera in my head. Your love was a light bulb hanging over my bed. Baby, baby, baby...light my way." (Ultraviolet - U2)

Only after the rain

Look in the mirror girl, by now you should know You’re living in a fantasy, and you can’t let go He never really loved you from the start The only thing he ever gave you was a broken heart Don’t be afraid to lose what was never meant to be After the rain washes away the tears And all the pain Only after the rain Can you live again I know the emptiness you feel inside You’re thinking if you break away, you’ll never survive I’m waiting as my heart beats just for you Come on and take my hand and I’ll pull you through But things will never change until you want them to. (Nelsons - After the Rain)

Funny how I´m back again on the same place where this funny and silly story began. Guess there can´t be better place for it to end. I had strange dreams last night...wish I could learn how to read them before I screw up my life doing what I´m not supposed to. Even this situation had an alert, but I didn´t saw it comming.

On the other hand...% wants to open a door, better say...the door is open, now I have to see if there is light inside or more MEN BLUF. Of course there is a big difference between the one who let´s you dream..and the one who cut´s all the real stuff with out warning.

I was hearing yesterday this son from Avril Lavigne - My happy ending, then wanted to run My Chemical Romance - I´m not OK, but in the end I thought about My favourite things - Julie Andrews: When the dog bites, when the bee stings. When I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite thingsand then I don't feeel so bad!.....Rain drops in november, fondue at house, charlantas with friends, a sweet hug of mom and dad, the smile of my nieces, the smell of a good chocolate, the wind blowing in El Alto, the taste of oreos with milk (Now u know it Murph!), the perfect kiss, full moon nights, swinging until I´m tired...these are just few of my favourite things.

Watching that a full life girl of 23 died stupidly on that gun shut, I realize that my life is full of beautiful favourite things. Thank God for one more day, even if that little devil still wants to fight...we shall give him fight!.

People change, seasons change

Dear Freddy....
You know people change, feelings change...we can't expect the other one will love us as we expected, even if the this other person has thought we were great or incredible persons. Seasons change, and so do feelings. Now u see we are almost in the same point... and I could easy let my self drown in madness with our favorite question...WHY???. This question u know, it will never have an answer now and here. I pray for u my friend, so you can discover God's peace and love, the way He is taking care of my soul and sorrows...I don't regret to have tried and given my best, but as I understand now, that was only my wish not the wish HE has for me. It's hard I know...try to love while there is pain still in our hearts...or wounds like in yours...but remember how many wounds and suffer had Christ in the Cross. And at no moment has He complain about them. Today I'm learning to suffer for love, even if is just a 0.00000040034540 part of what He had suffer for you and me. I was lost, but He found me...what joy more could I pretend from this life, for now I'm safe. My soul is safe, my heart is safe in His arms. Good day my friend and may God bless your day.

O Km.

Last friday woke up with a strange feeling the world was not the same anymore. Something had changed all of a sudden.... It´s like the inclination angle of rotation has changed in 5 degrees or so. I just could expect that things would be different and had to be ready for the uncertain.

And so the started to happen. Many pages of the last 7 months have been closed in this book of my life. And saturday one page more was turned away. I my self was surprised ´cos I really expected to have a different reaction. Actually it was somehow expected or it was just that praying and bealiving does pay back.

My heart is 0 Km. again, like it was 7 months ago. No big expectations and full of a certain kind of peace and joy. Feelings I have onle felt while going to El Alto every sunday for almost 1 year in Bolivia. How I miss those days where I just was a human being, and didn´t have to pretend to be Cecilia or a professional, or anything else. While in Eberswalde, I´ll try to make contact with Missioners of Charity in Berlin...maybe I can spend my weekends there, doing what I can do best....helping in the kitchen.

The good thing is that warm is again in the world and somehow everything now is in bloom. Wonder if my patience and humble will bloom as well again. For now, I´ve just got to cope with 11 more days in Rackwitz/Zschortau...then I´ll be closser to Eberswalde and finally the chance to improve Deutsch. What ever that may mean....

Y para el que se corrio.... (Nada de esto fue un Error - Paulina Rubio, Coty, Julieta Venegas)

Tengo una mala noticia, no fue de casualidad. Yo quería que nos pasara, y tu y tu,
lo dejaste pasar. No quiero que me perdones,y no me pidas perdón. No me niegues
que me buscaste y nada nada de esto
NADA DE ESTO FUE UN ERROR!
Los errores nos eligen, para bien o para mal. No falle, cuando viniste
y tu y tu, no quisite fallar.

Dublin and Murph, the perfect couple

My expectations were low…Dublin was GREAT!! And despite Murph got sick (he claims he never gets sick), it turned out to be awesome. I even feel like I left “home” L. There is something about this city that made me remember about mine…It’s Europe, but there are so many things not so European that makes it really special. And to get to see those lakes, those landscapes with mosses…was breath taking. I really would like to come back with more time…visit Belfast, get to the coast in the south…and drink more Guiness.

Murph turned out to be just exactly as he has during all this time we have mailed and chatted... a bit weird, funny, totally spontaneous, dementido…and some more descriptions. I’m already missing him and his kuku wako things.

Now I’m back for some days…and honestly I don’t feel comfortable. Wish my stay in Dublin could have been longer. But I have to learn to be happy with what I’ve got.

Cheers!

The Queen

Finally I got to see a movie…it has been I while, and as I recall my last time was in Leipzig “Blood Diamonds” with SG. HA! Almost 2 months have gone by until another movie. I’m starting to feel a bit preoccupied…no movies, no books. Scary.

The movie is actually good for my taste…thought it was a drama but turned out to be a bit funnier than that. It also re affirmed my position about the death of Princess Diana…such a show for such a thing. Of course if you know me well, you can imagine that day I grieved but not for her, but for Mother Theresa…but of course, this world love what is from this world, and this other great person didn’t show so interesting as the crazy blond.

I’m getting ready to the next trip….so much times dreamed…IRELAND! I really hope it won’t happen what happened with Prague….and I really hope this time Murph won’t leave me waiting. But after this trip I want to make like a biiiiiig pause. I’m a bit tired of traveling ALONE, and somehow I’m also physical tired. Maybe I’ll just do small or closer trips…or really really important trips. Who knows, a wedding, a rendez vou with a peace of my dreams…

This days have been better…although my time away of so much female side is still running, but guess it shouldn’t call my attention, anyhow I’ve always spend more time with my male friends. Correct…like you macho reader…I really don’t understand women. Time to sleep and dream a little dream of …you.

Dilemas...

It should be easy, but maybe 'cos I'm always here and there... this time in my life has come again. There is a big part of me that would like to stay here in Germany...obviously the question is how?

Seems like so much time working with CEBEM has produced the sensation that my capacity is not worthy. I really should stop working under such a depresive environment.

Now it's 14 days left before I see again SG...many thoughts cross my mind. I only hope I won't be so dumb to ruin everything with my silly questions. Shall I askso many fool things? What's the point of seing us this way? What is this funny thing in my belly each time I recive those few lines in my mail? Why I felt the rush to put one of our pictures in a frame? why I feel so embarrased when he can't understand my poor Deutsch? ...usw.

Now it's time to forgive some mistakes of the past...for the good sake of my brother. I'll never understand why sometimes we take decisions in a certain way. How ever I just have to hope that this decision will make him happy and will last.

Back to Gottingen...and tomorrow I'll hang out with Ana Paula. Bis dann.